Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Lost and FO

At the risk of being brutally honest and shattering any illusion that my life is all roses and sunshine (snort! snort!), I must confess I feel I have lost something lately...has anyone seen my joy? It seems to have wandered off. If you should stumble across it, would you send it back to me please?

I have now been a stay-at-home mom for approximately 21 years. I fear that I may have grown weary in well doing. No need to panic. I'm not planning to go out and get a job, or leave my family, or anything drastic like that. But the truth of the matter is, a lot of what my life consists of has become drudgery to me. There is a never-ending cycle of laundry and dishes and cooking and home schooling. Most of these are tasks that are never DONE, finished, complete. I can get the family all fed and the kitchen all clean, only to find a few hours later there are hungry mouths and a huge mess to deal with all over again! I don't often get the chance to do something, clap my hands together and think "There! Now that's complete! I don't have to do that again!"

Right now, homemaking feels less like an interesting journey down a scenic path; more like a marathon run by doing laps on a short round track over and over again. I'm not throwing in the towel or calling it quits. I continue to do what needs to be done, but I want my mojo back! I want to enjoy doing things I need to do. I want to feel inspired. So, should you look out your window and happen to see my joy running past, would you quickly nab it for me?

Well, that covers the "lost." Now on to the "FO" (otherwise known as "finished object.")

No, not my son. He's still a work in progress. ;-P The FO is the scarf around his neck. The pattern is "Daybreak" knit with Cascade Yarns Heritage Hand Painted Sock Yarn, colors -- 9872 "Thunder" and 5601 Black.

Here is a photo of it while still in progress, but it gives an idea of the shape of the scarf/shawl.

The photo really doesn't do the "thunder" colorway justice. It is a gorgeous hand-painted yarn with greys and some denim blues and even a bit of mossy green in it. It was really yummy to knit with. Originally it was made for my college boy in the mountains (not the one in the photo.) However, I learned that he preferred something in more "earthy" colors. Truth be told, I was thrilled! As I knit it, I fell in love with my Daybreak and I really didn't want to give it away. I have been wearing it quite a bit. It is amazing how much warmer I feel with some wool wrapped around my neck.

***Edited to add an afterthought: Don't want anyone out there to think I am drowning in the depths of despair. I'm okay, honestly! I am sure everyone feels this way about their life/occupation/career sometimes. I think I will read through Proverbs 31 and pull out my copy of "The Gentle Art of Domesticity" for a little inspiration.


kimodified said...

I can really relate to the marathon of short laps and being nowhere near the finish line feeling. And the missing joy. I am thankful that, while I may lose track of my joy, I at least remember where I've placed my hope. :)

the scarf is awesome!

Michael Kitchen said...

Perhaps meditating on Hebrews 12:1-3 would help?

1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.

randi--i have to say said...

i have been a sahm for the same amount of time!

my fabric store has been a great thing for me. i did get to the point where i needed to do just a little more than take care of everyone else. i find myself enjoying cooking and taking care of things so much more.

i do know that this is where i need to be for now and i am so blessed to be with my kids so much! they make me smile!




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